Sunday Humour 

• Pilot vs. Priest
  
  A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.  Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
  
  Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
  
  The guy replies, "I'm Peter Pilot, retired Northern Territory pilot from Darwin’
  Saint Peter   consults his list.  He smiles and says to the pilot,   "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.  "The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
  
  Next it's the priest's turn.  He stands erect and booms out, "I am Father Joe, rector of Saint Mary's  for the last 43years."
  
  Saint Peter consults his list.  He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."
  
  Just a minute, says the good father,   "that man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff, and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?"
  
  "Up here ... we go by results," says Saint Peter, "when you preached - -people slept;   when he flew people prayed."
   

• A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
  
  After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
  
  "She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
   

• As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
  The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
  
   

•  Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.  At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
  
  "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
  I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
  I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
  
  His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."  To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"
  
   

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